When I turned twenty-five, I had an epiphany, as I was sickened by what I was seeing in this world. It has been said that the world is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those that feel. Disgusted by inhumanity, I began expressing my thoughts on paper. I rattled on and on as if to clear my conscience, and I felt sorry for all mankind — humanity as a whole.
Unfortunately, nobody really cared, as most people are lost in their own little world with their own personal problems. In fact, some of my friends and family laughed at me like I was insane. Perhaps, I must admit, my writings were pretty bad, but with persistence, I managed to find my ‘muse.’ I came to realize that mankind as a whole was a living bible unfolding in time.
Ironically, I had to admit that we, all humans are little devils, as 'evil' is but ‘Live’, spelled backwards. Everybody is guilty. ‘Devil’ is merely ‘Lived’, spelled backwards. It’s a matter of wrong living. Ultimately, thanks to this epiphany, I view life as a matter of perspective and understanding, precisely --- ‘Attitude’, ‘Attention’ and ‘Awareness’.
I concluded that we all hold destiny in our own hands via our actions as a whole; good actions verses evil actions. We could actually be little gods if we were willing to do angelic deeds. I was determined to make a difference, and share my insights but I didn't know where or how to start since nobody wanted to read the junk that I was writing. Thus, I would pray at night in bed for guidance which led to ‘The Dream’.
One night, my thoughts were rambunctious as I fell into dreamland — lost, astray, deep in a dark, enchanting forest. Confounded by doubt and fear, I chose to flee from our world, since it was so cruel and corrupt. Drifting away, running scared, angry, confused, bewildered, and yet entranced by this mystical woodland, I shouted out loud — “Why, God? Why?”
Suddenly, I saw an incandescent light, particles of hope, dancing, peeking through the thick trees ahead of me. Curiously, I anxiously hurried toward that radiant area. The closer I came to this brilliant glow, the brighter it got. Finally, I was out of the woods as I reached my focal point in a most beautiful Garden of Ether / Eden, which I could have never imagined. Astonished, as I assimilated my attitude, attention, and awareness, I knew that I was on Sacred Holy Ground, some harmonious realm — ineffable paradise.
Spellbound, I fell to my knees — mesmerized, amazed, overjoyed, and in a state of awe, beyond pure contemplation — exultation. Embraced by an exuberant feeling of Pure Perpetual LOVE —divine chemistry — I melted in rapture as I felt the presence of Sacred Holiness. My heart beat in tune with overwhelming yet soothing, soft music — bliss, which hailed from the Ultimate Divine.
Nonchalantly, I looked up into the sky, and there she was, totally refreshing and as clear as the full moon entertaining the darkest night: The Virgin Mary, Mother of Jesus, hovering amongst a cloud, floating closer and closer toward me. She was so beautiful, so immaculate — a bare testimonial of the absolute as a luminous white aura surrounded her completely. In fact, she looked as if she were made of light.
Ambushed by relentless peace, happy tears rolled down my face. Her elegance was so bright that I felt unworthy to look at her. I turned my head away. I wanted to stare, but I couldn’t until she assured me, “Fear not; relax. Your heart is pure and you may look as your eyes won’t hurt.” Ironically, she didn’t talk. Our minds — in fact, our thoughts — were engaged in communication as if by some visible sound waves, vibrating, emanating, and attracting and exchanging together as if magnetized. Mental telepathy!
She smiled and told me, “Your thoughts are true to your heart, and what you’re thinking is right and just.” Ironically, she warned, “time is running out, but the world isn't ready yet. Be patient. You will know when the time is right,” she assured. Then she quoted Apostle Paul: “Proclaim the Word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient…for the time will come when people will not tolerate sound doctrine.”
She finished by encouraging me to do my duty in the Name of World Peace and Humanity. “Soon,” she promised, “the world will be ready, willing, and able as it is desperate for LOVE; so Follow your Heart and Live your Dream!”
Overwhelmed and excited, in a state of ecstasy — an emotional overload of pure high — I awoke with water in my ears and salt in my mouth. I wiped the tears from my face and gently shook my wife to wake her up and tell her all about my Blessed Experience. Half asleep, she replied: “That’s nice,” and rolled over — back to sleep.
I was more determined than ever to make a difference. I realized that I couldn’t run away from the troubles of the world any longer. Denial is evil. I must rise to the occasion. I visualized a world of Peace in my mind’s eye and vowed to do my best. It took a while but at last, I found my inner child — 'Oouey' —and I am determined to utilize him in the Name of Humanity to spread the word.
Shortly before that dream, my wife and I were with some friends at a flea market. I spotted an old painting; actually it was a beautiful lithograph of Baby Jesus and Mother Mary. It was lying on the floor in some corner. It was framed, but the glass was broken. I bought that old picture for $3.00. I hung it on my bedroom wall, as it inspires me. Over thirty years have gone by, and it is still my inspiration as it hangs on my bedroom wall.